Saturday, July 16, 2016

With grace, dignity, kindness and a little kick-ass attitude.

Struggles. We all have them. 

Honestly, my life is pretty good and I feel pretty blessed.  Yet every day, there are struggles I wrestle with, hopefully with patience, grace, kindness, and a little kick-ass attitude.  

I struggle with not being able to give my husband another kid or my child a sibling.  You would think that as time goes by, it gets easier. The struggle to fight that whatever-feeling-inside-me is real. I feel "less than." I feel out of my control. Daily. Every single day for the past 3 years.  It used to be "easier" -- it was me feeling the pain, and I didn't have to to explain or have an answer. However, once my Lil' Man started talking, he talks about "when I get a little sister ..." or "I will be a good big brother," or "Can you buy me a baby sister?" or "Why don't I have a baby sister?" I struggle to hold back the tears, to not feel the pang of pain in my heart, and to explain to him why it is highly impossible.   

I struggle with parenting. Am I enough? Am I a good mom? Am I screwing my kid up? Am I playing enough with him? Am I teaching him how to be tough, tenacious, kind, emphatic, resilient, honest, righteous? Am I feeding him enough vegetables? Oh no! He won't eat anything that's green. I am screwing up.  The struggle is real. You probably share some of my parenting struggles. 

I struggle with not being there for my parents. They are getting old, and I want to be closer to them, to take care of them.  I have moved away for a long long time. I try not to think about it but, it gets to me. I miss my parents a lot. It is easier to not think or talk about it. 

I struggle with keeping my food portions under control. I LOVE FOOD. I eat clean stuff and I love it. Eating clean isn't hard for me. It is my way of life. However, since I have started on Insanity Max 30 instead of Hammer and Chisel, my fruits and carbs portions have went down by 1 container. I can live on sweet potatoes and peanut butter and all kinds of fruit ALL DAY LONG. 

You probably have tougher struggles than I do. Every struggle has weight. I hope you have someone to weather through these struggles with you. A very wise lady whom I have great respect for once told me, "Every thing will be just fine." I believe that I am a strong, independent woman, and I will power through these struggles with grace, dignity, kindness and a little kick-ass attitude. And in the end, "every thing will be just fine." It will be part of your story. 

What is your struggle? 

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